chops come on table looking like little islands of meat surrounded by
water, on which might be detected a tickley benders of grease. Five
minutes conversation on my part supplied the deficiency, and caused one
can of lard to outlast six of those in olden times.

When I first took charge of the kitchen, the cook made one struggle--but
only one. The reply to her question indicated such ignorance or
indifference on my part, that everything suggested in future was served
as directed, and well done. Having ordered many dishes one day--I don't
know whether it was washing or ironing day, I never used to ask: I also
gave the ingredients of a very nice pudding, and said 'can you make
that?'

'I know how, sir, but can't to-day.'

'Why not?'

'There is no room in the oven, you have filled it with your orders, and
it is impossible to bake it this afternoon.'

'You cannot bake it, then?'

'No, sir.'

'Then _broil_ it!'