weddin' was the silliest doin's as I ever see from the beginnin', an'
the end wan't no more than might o' been expected--all things
considered.

"When I got to the church, what do you think was the first thing as I
see, Mrs. Lathrop? Well, you'd never guess till kingdom come, so I may
as well tell you. It was Ed an' Sam Duruy an' Henry Ward Beecher an'
Johnny standin' there waitin' to show us to our pews like we didn't know
our own pews after sittin' in 'em for all our life-times! I just shook
my head an' walked to my pew, an' there, if it wasn't looped shut with a
daisy-chain! Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I wish you could have been there to
have felt for me, for I may remark as a cyclone is a caterpillar wove up
in hisself beside my face when I see myself daisy-chained out o' my own
pew by Polly Allen. Ed was behind me an' he whispered 'That's reserved
for the family.' I give him one look an' I will state, Mrs. Lathrop, as
he wilted. It didn't take me long to break that daisy-chain an' sit down
in that pew, an' I can assure you as no one asked me to get up again.
Mrs. Jilkins's cousins from Meadville come an' looked at me sittin'
there, but I give them jus' one look back an' they went an' sat with
Mrs. Macy themselves. A good many other folks was as surprised as me
over where they had to sit, but we soon had other surprises as took the
taste o' the first clean out o' our mouths.

"Just as Mrs. Davison begin to play the organ, Ed an' Johnny come down
with two clothes-lines wound 'round with clematis an' tied us all in
where we sat. Then they went back an' we all stayed still an' couldn't
but wonder what under the sun was to be done to us next. But we didn't
have long to wait, an' I will say as anythin' to beat Polly's ideas I
never see--no--nor no one else neither.