are the early Interludes of John Heywood. It is quite impossible to read
such a play as _The Pardoner and the Friar_ and believe that its author
wrote under any such earnest and sober inspiration as did the author of
_New Custom_. His intention was frankly to amuse, and to paint life as
he saw it without the intrusion of unreal personages of highly virtuous
but dull ideas. Yet he swung the lash of satire as cuttingly and as
merrily about the flanks of ecclesiastical superstition as ever did the
creator of Perverse Doctrine.[47]

The simplest plot sufficed Heywood, and the minimum of characters. _The
Pardoner and the Friar_ (possibly as early as 1520) demands only four
persons, while the plot may be summed up in a few sentences, thus: A
Pardoner and a Friar, from closely adjoining platforms, are endeavouring
to address the same crowd, the one to sell relics, the other to beg
money for his order. By a sort of stichomythic alternation each for a
time is supposed to carry on his speech regardless of the other, so that
to follow either connectedly the alternate lines must be read in
sequence. But every now and then they break off for abuse, and finally
they fight. A Parson and neighbour Prat interfere to convey them to jail
for the disturbance, but are themselves badly mauled. Then the Pardoner
and the Friar go off amicably together. There is no allegory, no moral;
merely satire on the fraudulent and hypocritical practices of pardoners
and friars, together with some horseplay to raise a louder laugh. The
fashion of that satire may be judged from the following exchange of home
truths by the rival orators.

_Friar._ What, should ye give ought to parting pardoners?--

_Pardoner._ What, should ye spend on these flattering liars,--