_T. Trusty._ But was there no such matter, Dame Custance, indeed?

_C. Custance._ If ever my head thought it, God send me ill speed!
Wherefore I beseech you with me to be a witness
That in all my life I never intended thing less.
And what a brainsick fool Ralph Roister Doister is
Yourself knows well enough.

_T. Trusty._ Ye say full true, i-wis.

In 1566 was acted at Christ's College, Cambridge, 'A Ryght Pithy,
Pleasaunt, and merie Comedie, intytuled _Gammer Gurton's Needle_.' The
authorship is uncertain, recent investigation having exalted a certain
Stevenson into rivalry with the Bishop Still to whom former scholars
were content to assign it. Possibly as the result of a perusal of
Plautus, possibly under the influence of the last play--for in subject
matter it is even more perfectly English than _Ralph Roister
Doister_--this comedy is also built on a well-arranged plan, the plot
developing regularly through five acts with subsidiary scenes. Let us
glance through it.

Gammer Gurton and her goodman Hodge lose their one and only needle, an
article not easily renewed, nor easily done without, seeing that Hodge's
garments stand in need of instant repair. Gib, the cat, is strongly
suspected of having swallowed it. Into this confusion steps Diccon, a
bedlam beggar, whose quick eye promptly detects opportunities for
mischief. After scaring Hodge with offers of magic art, he goes to Dame
Chat, an honest but somewhat jealous neighbour, unaware of what has
happened, with a tale that Gammer Gurton accuses her of stealing her