in actual life; there is, in the French army, a Colonel of
Artillery by that name, a Corsican who Gallicized his original
name of Napolione Buonaparte. He is a most brilliant military
theoretician; I am sure some of your own officers, like General
Scharnhorst, could tell you about him. His loyalty to the French
monarchy has never been questioned.

This same correspondence to fact seems to crop up everywhere in
that amazing collection of pseudo-dispatches and pseudo-State
papers. The United States of America, you will recall, was the
style by which the rebellious colonies referred to themselves, in
the Declaration of Philadelphia. The James Madison who is
mentioned as the current President of the United States is now
living, in exile, in Switzerland. His alleged predecessor in
office, Thomas Jefferson, was the author of the rebel Declaration;
after the defeat of the rebels, he escaped to Havana, and died,
several years ago, in the Principality of Lichtenstein.

I was quite amused to find our old friend Cardinal
Talleyrand--without the ecclesiastical title--cast in the role of
chief adviser to the usurper, Bonaparte. His Eminence, I have
always thought, is the sort of fellow who would land on his feet
on top of any heap, and who would as little scruple to be Prime
Minister to His Satanic Majesty as to His Most Christian Majesty.

I was baffled, however, by one name, frequently mentioned in
those fantastic papers. This was the English general, Wellington.
I haven't the least idea who this person might be.

I have the honor, your excellency, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera,