Texas can hear him, that he knew your father when the seat of his
trousers was ragged, and he didn't have one dollar to rub against
another. I don't mind that so much, but every time he comes to
a word with the letter _P_ in it, he spits all over a fellow.
Why, the other night he was telling me about our newly acquired
_P_ossessions, the _P_hilippines, being a land of _P_erpetual
_P_lenty, and for a while I thought I was in the natatorium. Under
the circumstances I don't know which would be more desirable, a
plumber for the general, or a mackintosh for myself.

Yours as ever,

Billy.

P. S.--Jim, you know those little white checks they issue in
some bars and you pay at the cashier's desk? Well, one of the
boys just telephoned me that he saw Johnny Black a few minutes
ago in a down-town place with a beautiful sosh on, and that he
was eating his checks because he was broke. He had swallowed
five checks amounting to $2.30 before the bartender tumbled.
That's a new one on me, and it's all right. My! but that boy
Johnny is a sincere drinker.


More Horse Sense

Sometimes you get up in the morning feeling as though you were
not expected to live. You know the cause. If you are at home, the
first thing to do is to square yourself. Some experts on squaring
say that it is best to deny everything, others advise a partial