INCOME The reliable offspring of a wise investment. From Lat. in
and coma, meaning sleep. Money which works while you sleep.

INDEPENDENCE Self government. Good enough for a Cuban, but too
good for a Filipino.

INDIGESTION A distressing stomach trouble that is sometimes
temporarily relieved by kicking the cat or whipping the children.

INDIVIDUALITY A harmless trait possessed by one's self. The same
trait in others is downright idiocy.

INDORSE To write on the back of; the best indorsed man in town
being the Sandwich-Man.

INFANT A disturber of the peace.

INFANTRY A defender of the peace.

INHABITANT A native of any village, town or city. OLDEST
INHABITANT The Champion Liar.

INTUITION A fictitious quality in females--really Suspicion.

IRRITANT Something which irritates. COUNTER IRRITANT A woman
shopping.

ISLAND A place where the bottom of the sea sticks up through the
water.