own bent and carries its point in whatever it undertakes.

PING-PONG A game invented for the benefit of furniture and
crockery dealers.

PITY An emotion awakened in a man's mind when he beholds the
children of a woman who might have married him instead.

PLATONIC LOVE An arrangement in which a man and woman attempt a
correct imitation of a pair of icicles--and never succeed.

PLENTY A desirable condition that is likely to step out whenever
Extravagance steps in.

PLUM A fruit that ripens and falls from the Political Tree--but
only after careful grafting.

PLUMB To ascertain the capacity of.

PLUMBER One who ascertains the capacity of your purse, soaks you
with a piece of lead and gets away with the money--a process
vulgarly known as "a lead-pipe cinch."

POLE-CAT A small animal to be killed with a pole, the longer the
pole the better.

POLICEMAN A never present help in time of trouble.

POLYGAMY A thoughtless way of increasing the family expenses.