REFORMER One who, when he smells a rat, is eager to let the cat
out of the bag.

REGISTER The only autograph album which it costs you money to
write in.

REGRETS An excuse for non-attendance at a social function.
Occasionally, an expression of sorrow; usually, a paean of praise
at deliverance from evil.

RELATIONS A tedious pack of people who haven't the remotest
knowledge of how to live nor the smallest instinct about when to
die.

RELIGION A cloak used by some persons in this world who will be
warm enough without one in the next.

R. E. MORSE A veteran General who commands the largest army in the
world.

REPARTEE The sassy habit of talking back.

REPUTATION A personal possession, frequently not discovered until
lost.

RESIDENCE A rural locality inhabited annually--for a few hours--by
a rich New Yorker or Bostonian.

RESOLUTION A fragile bit of crockery fashioned on the first day of
January and usually broken on the second.