TENNIS A game in which the participants enjoy a racket on the side
and raise the deuce over a net, while the volleys drive them from
set to set and love scores as often as it's mentioned.

TEMPER A quality, the loss of which is likely to make a knife
blade dull and a woman's tongue sharp.

THERMOMETER A short, glass tube that regulates the weather--and
usually does a poor job.

THIRST A sensation immediately following a short session at the
free lunch stand.

TIDE An old friend who comes and goes daily but is all in whenever
he gets over the bay.

TITIAN The color a poor red-headed girl's hair becomes as soon as
her father strikes oil.

TIPS Wages we pay other people's hired help.

TOBACCO A nauseating plant that is consumed by but two creatures;
a large, green worm and--man. The worm doesn't know any better.

TONGUE An unruly member that is frequently put out, yet an artist
who's a hard worker at the palate and a great wag among women.

TOUCH A habit common to the impecunious, causing in its victim a
feeling of faintness, followed by a chill or a sense of loss.