and his desire could not be depended on.

Louis XV was excessively timid: with an air which appeared of a
dreadnaught quality, he was fearful at heart. The clamors of
Versailles kept him in alarm; and he kept at his own court and
at foreign courts secret agents, whose only care was to report
to him the complaints of the people and the sarcasms and satires
of society. The king was attached to them; and when the force of
circumstances compelled him to abandon them, he still supported
them clandestinely with all his power. A proof of what I advance
may be known as regards the chevalier or chevaliere d'Eon, I know
not which. But these secret agents were, unknown to the king, all
devoted to the parliaments, and consequently inimical to courtiers,
favorites, and especially mistresses. God knows how they disposed
of us! By these unpropitious channels the king had learnt all the
hatred which was borne to madame de Pompadour. He was afraid of
exciting the discontent of the people by announcing another mistress,
and was no less intimidated at the severity of madame Louise, and
the ill-humor of his other children. He loved his pleasure much,
but his ease more.

Comte Jean, who was restrained by no considerations, advised me
to overleap all difficulty, by asking the king myself for the favor
which I coveted. His advice seemed rational, and I was besides
urged on to do so. Each day brought to me impertinences said of
me by the noble ladies of the chateau. I learnt that they boasted
that I should never set foot in the great apartments, but should
remain the obscure mistress of the king. This made me impatient,
and by degrees deprived me of my natural gaiety.