repairing and fitting out the brig Grampus for a whaling voyage. She
was an old hulk, and scarcely seaworthy when all was done to her that
could be done. I hardly know why she was chosen in preference to
other good vessels belonging to the same owners -- but so it was. Mr.
Barnard was appointed to command her, and Augustus was going with
him. While the brig was getting ready, he frequently urged upon me
the excellency of the opportunity now offered for indulging my desire
of travel. He found me by no means an unwilling listener -- yet the
matter could not be so easily arranged. My father made no direct
opposition; but my mother went into hysterics at the bare mention of
the design; and, more than all, my grandfather, from whom I expected
much, vowed to cut me off with a shilling if I should ever broach the
subject to him again. These difficulties, however, so far from
abating my desire, only added fuel to the flame. I determined to go
at all hazards; and, having made known my intentions to Augustus, we
set about arranging a plan by which it might be accomplished. In the
meantime I forbore speaking to any of my relations in regard to the
voyage, and, as I busied myself ostensibly with my usual studies, it
was supposed that I had abandoned the design. I have since frequently
examined my conduct on this occasion with sentiments of displeasure
as well as of surprise. The intense hypocrisy I made use of for the
furtherance of my project- an hypocrisy pervading every word and
action of my life for so long a period of time- could only have been
rendered tolerable to myself by the wild and burning expectation with
which I looked forward to the fulfilment of my long-cherished visions
of travel.

In pursuance of my scheme of deception, I was necessarily obliged
to leave much to the management of Augustus, who was employed for the
greater part of every day on board the Grampus, attending to some