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You Never Can Tell by George Bernard Shaw
page 127 of 166 (76%)
MRS. CLANDON. We expect some visitors at nine, William. Can we have
dinner at seven instead of half-past?

WAITER (at the door). Seven, ma'am? Certainly, ma'am. It will be a
convenience to us this busy evening, ma'am. There will be the band and
the arranging of the fairy lights and one thing or another, ma'am.

DOLLY. The fairy lights!

PHILIP. The band! William: what mean you?

WAITER. The fancy ball, miss---

DOLLY and PHILIP (simultaneously rushing to him). Fancy ball!

WAITER. Oh, yes, sir. Given by the regatta committee for the
benefit of the Life-boat, sir. (To Mrs. Clandon.) We often have them,
ma'am: Chinese lanterns in the garden, ma'am: very bright and pleasant,
very gay and innocent indeed. (To Phil.) Tickets downstairs at the
office, sir, five shillings: ladies half price if accompanied by a
gentleman.

PHILIP (seizing his arm to drag him off). To the office, William!

DOLLY (breathlessly, seizing his other arm). Quick, before they're
all sold. (They rush him out of the room between them.)

MRS. CLANDON. What on earth are they going to do? (Going out.) I
really must go and stop this--- (She follows them, speaking as she
disappears. Gloria stares coolly at Valentine, and then deliberately
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