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You Never Can Tell by George Bernard Shaw
page 19 of 166 (11%)
turns from the window and studies him with freezing attention.

PHILIP. Let me introduce you, Mr. Valentine. My mother, Mrs.
Lanfrey Clandon. (Mrs. Clandon bows. Valentine bows, self-possessed
and quite equal to the occasion.) My sister Gloria. (Gloria bows with
cold dignity and sits down on the sofa. Valentine falls in love at
first sight and is miserably confused. He fingers his hat nervously,
and makes her a sneaking bow.)

MRS. CLANDON. I understand that we are to have the pleasure of
seeing you at luncheon to-day, Mr. Valentine.

VALENTINE. Thank you--er--if you don't mind--I mean if you will be
so kind -- (to the parlor maid testily) What is it?

THE PARLOR MAID. The landlord, sir, wishes to speak to you before
you go out.

VALENTINE. Oh, tell him I have four patients here. (The Clandons
look surprised, except Phil, who is imperturbable.) If he wouldn't mind
waiting just two minutes, I--I'll slip down and see him for a moment.
(Throwing himself confidentially on her sense of the position.) Say I'm
busy, but that I want to see him.

THE PARLOR MAID (reassuringly). Yes, sir. (She goes.)

MRS. CLANDON (on the point of rising). We are detaining you, I am
afraid.

VALENTINE. Not at all, not at all. Your presence here will be the
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