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Mauprat by George Sand
page 153 of 411 (37%)
She withdrew her hand from mine quickly, and I fancy she bade me
good-night; but this I did not hear. I stood buried in my thoughts, and
when I raised my head to speak to her she was no longer there. I went
into the chapel, but she had returned to her room by an upper gallery
which communicated with her apartments.

I went back into the garden, walked far into the park, and remained
there all night. This conversation with Edmee had opened a new world
to me. Hitherto I had not ceased to be the Roche-Mauprat man, nor had I
ever contemplated that it was possible or desirable to cease to be so.
Except for some habits which had changed with circumstances, I had never
moved out of the narrow circle of my old thoughts. I felt annoyed that
these new surroundings of mine should have any real power over me, and
I secretly braced my will so that I should not be humbled. Such was my
perseverance and strength of character that I believed nothing would
ever have driven me from my intrenchment of obstinacy, had not Edmee's
influence been brought to bear upon me. The vulgar comforts of life, the
satisfactions of luxury, had no attraction for me beyond their novelty.
Bodily repose was a burden to me, and the calm that reigned in this
house, so full of order and silence, would have been unbearable, had
not Edmee's presence and the tumult of my own desires communicated to it
some of my disorder, and peopled it with some of my visions. Never for
a single moment had I desired to become the head of this house, the
possessor of this property; and it was with genuine pleasure that I
had just heard Edmee do justice to my disinterestedness. The thought of
coupling two ends so entirely distinct as my passion and my interests
was still more repugnant to me. I roamed about the park a prey to a
thousand doubts, and then wandered into the open country unconsciously.
It was a glorious night. The full moon was pouring down floods of soft
light upon the ploughed lands, all parched by the heat of the sun.
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