understanding why I loved her with an unconquerable love in spite of
all she had made me suffer. This sacred fire burned in my soul
without growing dim for one instant during the whole six years of our
separation. In spite of the rich vitality which pulsed through my veins;
in spite of the promptings of an external nature full of voluptuousness;
in spite of the bad examples and numerous opportunities which tempted
mortal weakness in the freedom of a roving, military life, I call God
to witness that I preserved my robe of innocence undefiled, and that I
never felt the kiss of a woman. Arthur, whose calmer organization was
less susceptible to temptation, and who, moreover, was almost entirely
engrossed in intellectual labour, did not always practise the same
austerity; nay, he frequently advised me not to run the risk of an
exceptional life, contrary to the demands of Nature. When I confided to
him that a master-passion removed all weaknesses from my path and made
a fall impossible, he ceased to reason against what he called
my fanaticism (this was a word very much in vogue and applied
indiscriminately to almost everything). I observed, indeed, that he had
a more profound esteem for me, I may even say a sort of respect which
did not express itself in words, but which was revealed by a thousand
little signs of compliance and deference.

One day, when he was speaking of the great power exercised by gentleness
of manners in alliance with a resolute will, citing both good and bad
examples from the history of men, especially the gentleness of the
apostles and the hypocrisy of the priests of all religions, it came into
my mind to ask him if, with my headstrong nature and hasty temper, I
should ever be able to exercise any influence on my fellows. When I used
this last word I was, of course, thinking only of Edmee. Arthur replied
that the influence which I exercised would be other than that of studied
gentleness.