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As You Like It by William Shakespeare
page 114 of 120 (95%)
Clo. According to the fooles bolt sir, and such dulcet
diseases

Iaq. But for the seuenth cause. How did you finde
the quarrell on the seuenth cause?
Clo. Vpon a lye, seuen times remoued: (beare your
bodie more seeming Audry) as thus sir: I did dislike the
cut of a certaine Courtiers beard: he sent me word, if I
said his beard was not cut well, hee was in the minde it
was: this is call'd the retort courteous. If I sent him
word againe, it was not well cut, he wold send me word
he cut it to please himselfe: this is call'd the quip modest.
If againe, it was not well cut, he disabled my iudgment:
this is called, the reply churlish. If againe it was not well
cut, he would answer I spake not true: this is call'd the
reproofe valiant. If againe, it was not well cut, he wold
say, I lie: this is call'd the counter-checke quarrelsome:
and so to lye circumstantiall, and the lye direct

Iaq. And how oft did you say his beard was not well
cut?
Clo. I durst go no further then the lye circumstantial:
nor he durst not giue me the lye direct: and so wee measur'd
swords, and parted

Iaq. Can you nominate in order now, the degrees of
the lye

Clo. O sir, we quarrel in print, by the booke: as you
haue bookes for good manners: I will name you the degrees.
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