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He Fell in Love with His Wife by Edward Payson Roe
page 68 of 348 (19%)
of having a good butter maker and all that kind of thing."

"Mr. Watterly wouldn't be long in comforting himself," remarked his
wife.--"His advice to you makes the course he'd take mighty clear."

"Now, Angy!" said Tom reproachfully. "Well," he added with a grin, "you're
forewarned. So you've only to take care of yourself and not give me a
chance."

"The trouble is," Holcroft resumed, "I don't see how an honest man is going to
comfort himself unless it all comes about in some natural sort of way. I
suppose there are people who can marry over and over again, just as easy as
they'd roll off a log. It aint for me to judge 'em, and I don't understand
how they do it. You are a very practical man, Tom, but just you put yourself
in my shoes and see what you'd do. In the first place, I don't know of a
woman in the world that I'd think of marrying. That's saying nothing against
the women,--there's lots too good for me,--but I don't know 'em and I can't go
around and hunt 'em up. Even if I could, with my shy, awkward ways, I
wouldn't feel half so nervous starting out on a bear hunt. Here's difficulty
right at the beginning. Supposing I found a nice, sensible woman, such as I'd
be willing to marry, there isn't one chance in a hundred she'd look at an old
fellow like me. Another difficulty: Supposing she would; suppose she looked
me square in the eyes and said, 'So you truly want a wife?' what in thunder
would I say then?--I don't want a wife, I want a housekeeper, a butter maker,
one that would look after my interests as if they were her own; and if I could
hire a woman that would do what I wish, I'd never think of marrying. I can't
tell a woman that I love her when I don't. If I went to a minister with a
woman I'd be deceiving him, and deceiving her, and perjuring myself
promiscuously. I married once according to law and gospel and I was married
through and through, and I can't do the thing over again in any way that would
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