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Condensed Novels: New Burlesques by Bret Harte
page 84 of 123 (68%)
that you re doin'?' sez Lummox, with a sickly kind o' smile. 'Are
you goin' out o' the bizness?'

"'No, I'm only goin' to change that sign from "Dan'l Borem" to
"Borem and Lummox,"' sez I. 'I've concluded it's cheaper for me to
take you inter partnership now than to continue in this way, which
would only end in your hevin' to take me in later. I preferred to
DO IT FUST.'"


VII


A rich man, and settled in business, John Lummox concluded that he
would marry Mary Bike. With that far-sighted logic which had
always characterized him he reasoned that, having first met her on
a liner, he would find her again on one if he took passage to
Europe. He did--but she was down on the passenger list as Mrs.
Edwin Wraggles. The result of their interview was given to Mrs.
Bigsby by Dan'l Borem in his own dialect.

"Ez far as I kin see, it was like the Deacon's Sunday hoss trade,
bein' all 'Ef it wassent.' 'Ef ye wasn't Mrs. Wraggles,' sez
Lummox, sez he, 'I'd be tellin' ye how I've loved ye ever sence I
first seed ye. Ef ye wasn't Mrs. Wraggles, I'd be squeezin' yer
hand,' sez he; 'ef ye wasn't Mrs. Wraggles, I'd be askin' ye to
marry me.' Then the gal ups and sez, sez she: 'But I AIN'T Mrs.
Wraggles,' sez she; 'Mrs. Wraggles is my sister, and couldn't come,
so I'm travelin' on her ticket, and that's how my name is Wraggles
on the passenger list.' 'But why didn't ye tell me so at once?'
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