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Tommy and Co. by Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka) Jerome
page 77 of 248 (31%)
with luck young Grindley might have retrieved his position and
covered up the traces of his folly, but for an unfortunate
accident. Returning to college with some other choice spirits at
two o'clock in the morning, it occurred to young Grindley that
trouble might be saved all round by cutting out a pane of glass
with a diamond ring and entering his rooms, which were on the
ground-floor, by the window. That, in mistake for his own, he
should have selected the bedroom of the College Rector was a
misfortune that might have occurred to anyone who had commenced the
evening on champagne and finished it on whisky. Young Grindley,
having been warned already twice before, was "sent down." And
then, of course, the whole history of the three wasted years came
out. Old Grindley in his study chair having talked for half an
hour at the top of his voice, chose, partly by reason of physical
necessity, partly by reason of dormant dramatic instinct, to speak
quietly and slowly.

"I'll give you one chance more, my boy, and one only. I've tried
you as a gentleman--perhaps that was my mistake. Now I'll try you
as a grocer."

"As a what?"

"As a grocer, sir--g-r-o-c-e-r--grocer, a man who stands behind a
counter in a white apron and his shirt-sleeves; who sells tea and
sugar and candied peel and such-like things to customers--old
ladies, little girls; who rises at six in the morning, takes down
the shutters, sweeps out the shop, cleans the windows; who has half
an hour for his dinner of corned beef and bread; who puts up the
shutters at ten o'clock at night, tidies up the shop, has his
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