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Is Shakespeare Dead? from my autobiography by Mark Twain
page 28 of 80 (35%)
HAVE STUDIED CATOLOGY IN A GARRET when no one was noticing--
therefore it DID; it COULD HAVE attended cat-assizes on the shed-
roof nights, for recreation, when no one was noticing, and
harvested a knowledge of cat court-forms and cat lawyer-talk in
that way: it COULD have done it, therefore without a doubt it did;
it could have gone soldiering with a war-tribe when no one was
noticing, and learned soldier-wiles and soldier-ways, and what to
do with a mouse when opportunity offers; the plain inference,
therefore is, that that is what it DID. Since all these manifold
things COULD have occurred, we have EVERY RIGHT TO BELIEVE they did
occur. These patiently and painstakingly accumulated vast
acquirements and competences needed but one thing more--
opportunity--to convert themselves into triumphant action. The
opportunity came, we have the result; BEYOND SHADOW OF QUESTION the
mouse is in the kitten.

It is proper to remark that when we of the three cults plant a "WE
THINK WE MAY ASSUME," we expect it, under careful watering and
fertilizing and tending, to grow up into a strong and hardy and
weather-defying "THERE ISN'T A SHADOW OF A DOUBT" at last--and it
usually happens.

We know what the Baconian's verdict would be: "THERE IS NOT A RAG
OF EVIDENCE THAT THE KITTEN HAS HAD ANY TRAINING, ANY EDUCATION,
ANY EXPERIENCE QUALIFYING IT FOR THE PRESENT OCCASION, OR IS INDEED
EQUIPPED FOR ANY ACHIEVEMENT ABOVE LIFTING SUCH UNCLAIMED MILK AS
COMES ITS WAY; BUT THERE IS ABUNDANT EVIDENCE--UNASSAILABLE PROOF,
IN FACT--THAT THE OTHER ANIMAL IS EQUIPPED, TO THE LAST DETAIL,
WITH EVERY QUALIFICATION NECESSARY FOR THE EVENT. WITHOUT SHADOW
OF DOUBT THE TOMCAT CONTAINS THE MOUSE."
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