"I don't want to be one. I would rather ride the
educated donkey. It's better exercise." Teddy then
proceeded with his letter. This is what he wrote:

"Dear Mr. Sparling:"

"Nothing has happened since you were here."

One of the lithographers had a fit in the dining room of the
contract hotel this morning (I don't blame him, do you?) and they
hauled him out by the feet. We run amuck with another advance
car, the other day, but nobody got into a fight. I thought rival
cars always--excuse the typewriter, it doesn't know any better--
got into a fight when they met.

"One of the billposters fell off a barn--it was a hay barn,
I think. I am not sure. I'll ask Phil before I finish
this letter. Let me see, what happened to him? Oh, yes,
I remember. He broke his arm off and we left him in a
hospital back at Aberdeen. Phil let one of the banner men
go this morning. The fellow had false teeth and couldn't
hold tacks in his mouth. I tell him it would be a good plan
to examine the teeth of all these banner men fellows before
he joins them out, just the same as you would when you're
buying a horse. Don't you think so?"

"By the way, I almost forgot to tell you. We ran over a
switchman in the night last night. I don't think it hurt the
car any."