Under Western Eyes by Joseph Conrad
page 77 of 418 (18%)
page 77 of 418 (18%)
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many permitted ways to serve one's country. There was an activity that
made for progress without being revolutionary. The field of influence was great and infinitely varied--once one had conquered a name. His thought like a circling bird reverted after four-and-twenty hours to the silver medal, and as it were poised itself there. When the day broke he had not slept, not for a moment, but he got up not very tired and quite sufficiently self-possessed for all practical purposes. He went out and attended three lectures in the morning. But the work in the library was a mere dumb show of research. He sat with many volumes open before him trying to make notes and extracts. His new tranquillity was like a flimsy garment, and seemed to float at the mercy of a casual word. Betrayal! Why! the fellow had done all that was necessary to betray himself. Precious little had been needed to deceive him. "I have said no word to him that was not strictly true. Not one word," Razumov argued with himself. Once engaged on this line of thought there could be no question of doing useful work. The same ideas went on passing through his mind, and he pronounced mentally the same words over and over again. He shut up all the books and rammed all his papers into his pocket with convulsive movements, raging inwardly against Haldin. As he was leaving the library a long bony student in a threadbare overcoat joined him, stepping moodily by his side. Razumov answered his mumbled greeting without looking at him at all. |
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