that I could find her at Boston in the morning. Ah!

THE CONDUCTOR. At Boston. [Sternly.] Then what are you trying to find
her at Worcester in the middle of the night for?

MR. ROBERTS. Why--I--that is--

THE PORTER (taking compassion on MR. ROBERTS'S inability to continue).
Says he wanted to surprise her.

MR. ROBERTS. Ha--yes, exactly. A little caprice, you know.

THE CONDUCTOR. Well, that may all be so. [MR. ROBERTS continues to
smile in agonized helplessness against THE CONDUCTOR'S injurious tone,
which becomes more and more offensively patronizing.] But _I_ can't do
anything for you. Here are all these people asleep in their berths, and
I can't go round waking them up because you want to surprise your wife.

MR. ROBERTS. No, no; of course not. I never thought--

THE CONDUCTOR. My advice to _you_ is to have a berth made up, and go to
bed till we get to Boston, and surprise your wife by telling her what you
tried to do.

MR. ROBERTS (unable to resent the patronage of this suggestion). Well, I
don't know but I will.

THE CONDUCTOR (going out). The porter will make up the berth for you.

MR. ROBERTS (to THE PORTER, who is about to pull down the upper berth