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Mrs. Skagg's Husbands and Other Stories by Bret Harte
page 17 of 141 (12%)
time. Salviated by merkery."

"What are you goin' to do for it?" asked Tommy.

"When the agint comes up, and I begins to realize on this yer mine,"
said Johnson, contemplatively, "I goes to New York. I sez to the
barkeep' o' the hotel, 'Show me the biggest doctor here.' He shows me.
I sez to him, 'Salviated by merkery,--a year's standin',--how much?' He
sez, 'Five thousand dollars, and take two o' these pills at bedtime, and
an ekil number o' powders at meals, and come back in a week.' And I goes
back in a week, cured, and signs a certifikit to that effect."

Encouraged by a look of interest in Tommy's eye, he went on.

"So I gets cured. I goes to the barkeep', and I sez, 'Show me the
biggest, fashionblest house thet's for sale yer.' And he sez, 'The
biggest, nat'rally b'longs to John Jacob Astor.' And I sez, 'Show him,'
and he shows him. And I sez, 'Wot might you ask for this yer house?' And
he looks at me scornful, and sez, 'Go 'way, old man; you must be sick.'
And I fetches him one over the left eye, and he apologizes, and I gives
him his own price for the house. I stocks that house with mohogany
furniture and pervisions, and thar we lives, you and me, Tommy, you and
me!"

The sun no longer shone upon the hillside. The shadows of the pines were
beginning to creep over Johnson's claim, and the air within the cavern
was growing chill. In the gathering darkness his eyes shone brightly
as he went on: "Then thar comes a day when we gives a big spread. We
invites govners, members o' Congress, gentlemen o' fashion, and the
like. And among 'em I invites a Man as holds his head very high, a Man I
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