are, or a fool,' sez I, 'to think o' such a thing.' 'Staples,' I sez,
'be you a man, Staples, and 'spect to raise h-ll under my roof and
invalids lyin' round?' But they would come,--they would. Thet's wot you
must 'spect o' such trash as lays round the Bar."

A burst of laughter from the men followed this unfortunate exposure.
Whether it was overheard in the kitchen, or whether the Old Man's irate
companion had just then exhausted all other modes of expressing her
contemptuous indignation, I cannot say, but a back door was suddenly
slammed with great violence. A moment later and the Old Man reappeared,
haply unconscious of the cause of the late hilarious outburst, and
smiled blandly.

"The old woman thought she'd jest run over to Mrs. McFadden's for a
sociable call," he explained, with jaunty indifference, as he took a
seat at the board.

Oddly enough it needed this untoward incident to relieve the
embarrassment that was beginning to be felt by the party, and their
natural audacity returned with their host. I do not propose to record
the convivialities of that evening. The inquisitive reader will accept
the statement that the conversation was characterized by the same
intellectual exaltation, the same cautious reverence, the same
fastidious delicacy, the same rhetorical precision, and the same logical
and coherent discourse somewhat later in the evening, which distinguish
similar gatherings of the masculine sex in more civilized localities and
under more favorable auspices. No glasses were broken in the absence of
any; no liquor was uselessly spilt on floor or table in the scarcity of
that article.