by the matter but the men of law.



CHAPTER VII. How John Bull was so mightily pleased with his success
that he was going to leave off his trade and turn Lawyer.

It is wisely observed by a great philosopher that habit is a second
nature. This was verified in the case of John Bull, who, from an
honest and plain tradesman, had got such a haunt about the Courts of
Justice, and such a jargon of law words, that he concluded himself
as able a lawyer as any that pleaded at the bar or sat on the bench.
He was overheard one day talking to himself after this manner: "How
capriciously does fate or chance dispose of mankind. How seldom is
that business allotted to a man for which he is fitted by Nature.
It is plain I was intended for a man of law. How did my guardians
mistake my genius in placing me, like a mean slave, behind a
counter? Bless me! what immense estates these fellows raise by the
law. Besides, it is the profession of a gentleman. What a pleasure
it is to be victorious in a cause: to swagger at the bar. What a
fool am I to drudge any more in this woollen trade. For a lawyer I
was born, and a lawyer I will be; one is never too old to learn."*
All this while John had conned over such a catalogue of hard words
as were enough to conjure up the devil; these he used to babble
indifferently in all companies, especially at coffee houses, so that
his neighbour tradesmen began to shun his company as a man that was
cracked. Instead of the affairs of Blackwell Hall and price of
broadcloth, wool, and baizes, he talks of nothing but actions upon
the case, returns, capias, alias capias, demurrers, venire facias,
replevins, supersedeases, certioraries, writs of error, actions of