philomathical as he was, could not read his own destiny; since the
Pope, the King of France, and great part of his court, are either
literally or metaphorically defunct: since, I say, these things not
foretold by any one but yourself have come to pass after so
surprising a manner: it is with no small concern I see the original
of the Staffian race so little known in the world as it is at this
time; for which reason, as you have employed your studies in
astronomy and the occult sciences, so I, my mother being a Welsh
woman, dedicated mine to genealogy, particularly that of our family,
which, for its antiquity and number, may challenge any in Great
Britain. The Staffs are originally of Staffordshire, which took its
name from them; the first that I find of the Staffs was one
Jacobstaff, a famous and renowned astronomer, who, by Dorothy his
wife, had issue seven sons--viz., Bickerstaff, Longstaff, Wagstaff,
Quarterstaff, Whitestaff, Falstaff, and Tipstaff. He also had a
younger brother, who was twice married, and had five sons--viz.,
Distaff, Pikestaff, Mopstaff, Broomstaff, and Raggedstaff. As for
the branch from whence you spring, I shall say very little of it,
only that it is the chief of the Staffs, and called Bickerstaff,
quasi Biggerstaff; as much as to say, the Great Staff, or Staff of
Staffs; and that it has applied itself to Astronomy with great
success, after the example of our aforesaid forefather. The
descendants from Longstaff, the second son, were a rakish,
disorderly sort of people, and rambled from one place to another,
till, in the time of Harry the Second, they settled in Kent, and
were called Long-Tails, from the long tails which were sent them as
a punishment for the murder of Thomas-a-Becket, as the legends say.
They have been always sought after by the ladies, but whether it be
to show their aversion to popery, or their love to miracles, I
cannot say. The Wagstaffs are a merry, thoughtless sort of people,