suspicions that some absurd proposal was preparing for appearing
with splendor the next day. In the evening they began their
operations in a very regular manner, and my wife undertook to
conduct the siege. After tea, when I seemed in spirits, she began
thus.--'I fancy, Charles, my dear, we shall have a great deal of
good company at our church to-morrow,'--'Perhaps we may, my
dear,' returned I; 'though you need be under no uneasiness about
that, you shall have a sermon whether there be or not.'--'That is
what I expect,' returned she; 'but I think, my dear, we ought to
appear there as decently as possible, for who knows what may
happen?' 'Your precautions,' replied I, 'are highly commendable.
A decent behaviour and appearance in church is what charms me. We
should be devout and humble, chearful and serene.'--'Yes,' cried
she, 'I know that; but I mean we should go there in as proper a
manner as possible; not altogether like the scrubs about us."
'You are quite right, my dear,' returned I, 'and I was going to
make the very same proposal. The proper manner of going is, to go
there as early as possible, to have time for meditation before
the service begins.'--'Phoo, Charles,' interrupted she, 'all that
is very true; but not what I would be at. I mean, we should go
there genteelly. You know the church is two miles off, and I
protest I don't like to see my daughters trudging up to their pew
all blowzed and red with walking, and, looking for all the world
as if they had been winners at a smock race. Now, my dear, my
proposal is this: there are our two plow horses, the Colt that
has been in our family these nine years, and his companion
Blackberry, that have scarce done an earthly thing for this month
past. They are both grown fat and lazy. Why should not they do
something as well as we? And let me tell you, when Moses has
trimmed them a little, they will cut a very tolerable figure.' To