not only to keep them comfortable, but also to keep off wolves,
and other savage monsters, so my chimney, by its obvious smoke at
top, keeps off prowling burglars from the towns--for what burglar
or murderer would dare break into an abode from whose chimney
issues such a continual smoke--betokening that if the inmates are
not stirring, at least fires are, and in case of an alarm,
candles may readily be lighted, to say nothing of muskets.

But stately as is the chimney--yea, grand high altar as it is,
right worthy for the celebration of high mass before the Pope of
Rome, and all his cardinals--yet what is there perfect in this
world? Caius Julius Caesar, had he not been so inordinately
great, they say that Brutus, Cassius, Antony, and the rest, had
been greater. My chimney, were it not so mighty in its magnitude,
my chambers had been larger. How often has my wife ruefully told
me, that my chimney, like the English aristocracy, casts a
contracting shade all round it. She avers that endless domestic
inconveniences arise--more particularly from the chimney's
stubborn central locality. The grand objection with her is, that
it stands midway in the place where a fine entrance-hall ought to
be. In truth, there is no hall whatever to the house--nothing but
a sort of square landing-place, as you enter from the wide front
door. A roomy enough landing-place, I admit, but not attaining to
the dignity of a hall. Now, as the front door is precisely in the
middle of the front of the house, inwards it faces the chimney.
In fact, the opposite wall of the landing-place is formed solely
by the chimney; and hence-owing to the gradual tapering of the
chimney--is a little less than twelve feet in width. Climbing the
chimney in this part, is the principal staircase--which, by three
abrupt turns, and three minor landing-places, mounts to the