measuring six feet and a half from tip to tip of his wings.--Crops
suffering for want of rain [Always just so. "Dry times, Father Noah!"]
The editors had received a liberal portion of cake from the happy couple
whose matrimonial union was recorded in the column dedicated to Hymen.
Also a superior article of [article of! bah!] steel pen from the
enterprising merchant [shopkeeper] whose advertisement was to be found on
the third page of this paper.--An interesting Surprise Party [cheap
theatricals] had transpired [bah!] on Thursday evening last at the house
of the Rev. Mr. Stoker. The parishioners had donated [donated! GIVE is
a good word enough for the Lord's Prayer. DONATE our daily bread!] a bag
of meal, a bushel of beans, a keg of pickles, and a quintal of salt-fish.
The worthy pastor was much affected, etc., etc. [Of course. Call'em.
SENSATION parties and done with it!] The Rev. Dr. Pemberton and the
venerable Dr. Hurlbut honored the occasion with their presence.--We learn
that the Rev. Ambrose Eveleth, rector of St. Bartholomew's Chapel, has
returned from his journey, and will officiate to-morrow.

Then came strings of advertisements, with a luxuriant vegetation of
capitals and notes of admiration. More of those PRIME GOODS! Full
Assortments of every Article in our line! [Except the one thing you
want!] Auction Sale. Old furniture, feather-beds, bed-spreads [spreads!
ugh!], setts [setts!] crockery-ware, odd vols., ullage bbls. of this and
that, with other household goods, etc., etc., etc.,--the etceteras
meaning all sorts of insane movables, such as come out of their
bedlam-holes when an antiquated domestic establishment disintegrates
itself at a country "vandoo."--Several announcements of "Feed," whatever
that may be,--not restaurant dinners, anyhow,--also of "Shorts,"--terms
mysterious to city ears as jute and cudbear and gunnybags to such as
drive oxen in the remote interior districts.--Then the marriage column
above alluded to, by the fortunate recipients of the cake. Right