you--you, mother, and some of my brothers and sisters.

"Without being surprised at this fresh proof of your motherly love, I
have felt an ardent remembrance reawaken of the happy life that we spent
gently together. Joy and grief, desire and sacrifice, agitate my heart
violently, and I have had to weigh these various impulses one against the
other, and with the force of reason, in order to resume mastery of myself
and to take a decision in regard to my wishes.

"The balance has inclined in the direction of sacrifice.

"You know, mother, how much joy and courage a look from your eyes, daily
intercourse with you, and your pious and high-minded conversation, might
bring me during my very short time. But you also know my position, and
you are too well acquainted with the natural course of all these painful
inquiries, not to feel as I do, that such annoyance, continually
recurring, would greatly trouble the pleasure of our companionship, if it
did not indeed succeed in entirely destroying it. Then, mother, after
the long and fatiguing journey that you would be obliged to make in order
to see me, think of the terrible sorrow of the farewell when the moment
came to part in this world. Let us therefore abide by the sacrifice,
according to God's will, and let us yield ourselves only to that sweet
community of thought which distance cannot interrupt, in which I find my
only joys, and which, in spite of men, will always be granted us by the
Lord, our Father.

"As for my physical state, I knew nothing about it. You see, however,
since at last I am writing to you myself, that I have come past my first
uncertainties. As for the rest, I know too little of the structure of my
own body to give any opinion as to what my wounds may determine for it.