The first of these diversions that is to be exhibited by the 10
pounds race-horses, may probably have its use; but the two last, in
which the asses and men are concerned, seem to me altogether
extraordinary and unaccountable. Why they should keep running asses
at Coleshill, or how making mouths turns to account in Warwickshire,
more than in any other parts of England, I cannot comprehend. I
have looked over all the Olympic games, and do not find anything in
them like an ass-race, or a match at grinning. However it be, I am
informed that several asses are now kept in body-clothes, and
sweated every morning upon the heath: and that all the country-
fellows within ten miles of the Swan grin an hour or two in their
glasses every morning, in order to qualify themselves for the 9th of
October. The prize which is proposed to be grinned for has raised
such an ambition among the common people of out-grinning one
another, that many very discerning persons are afraid it should
spoil most of the faces in the county; and that a Warwickshire man
will be known by his grin, as Roman Catholics imagine a Kentish man
is by his tail. The gold ring which is made the prize of deformity,
is just the reverse of the golden apple that was formerly made the
prize of beauty, and should carry for its poesy the old motto
inverted:


Detur tetriori.


Or, to accommodate it to the capacity of the combatants,