a great master in the whole art of grinning, but particularly
excelled in the angry grin. He did his part so well that he is said
to have made half a dozen women miscarry; but the justice being
apprised by one who stood near him that the fellow who grinned in
his face was a Jacobite, and being unwilling that a disaffected
person should win the gold ring, and be looked upon as the best
grinner in the county, he ordered the oaths to be tendered unto him
upon his quitting the table, which the grinner refusing, he was set
aside as an unqualified person. There were several other grotesque
figures that presented themselves, which it would be too tedious to
describe. I must not, however, omit a ploughman, who lived in the
further part of the county, and being very lucky in a pair of long
lantern jaws, wrung his face into such a hideous grimace that every
feature of it appeared under a different distortion. The whole
company stood astonished at such a complicated grin, and were ready
to assign the prize to him, had it not been proved by one of his
antagonists that he had practised with verjuice for some days
before, and had a crab found upon him at the very time of grinning;
upon which the best judges of grinning declared it as their opinion
that he was not to be looked upon as a fair grinner, and therefore
ordered him to be set aside as a cheat.

The prize, it seems, fell at length upon a cobbler, Giles Gorgon by
name, who produced several new grins of his own invention, having
been used to cut faces for many years together over his last. At
the very first grin he cast every human feature out of his
countenance; at the second he became the face of spout; at the third
a baboon; at the fourth the head of a bass-viol; and at the fifth a
pair of nut-crackers. The whole assembly wondered at his
accomplishments, and bestowed the ring on him unanimously; but what