CHAPTER XLV.



Such a state of mind was a real disease, or I know not if it may be
called a kind of somnambulism. Without doubt it was the effect of
extreme lassitude, occasioned by continual thought and watchfulness.

It gained upon me. I grew feverish and sleepless. I left off
coffee, but the disease was not removed. It appeared to me as if I
were two persons, one of them eagerly bent upon writing letters, the
other upon doing something else. "At least," said I, "you shall
write them in German if you do; and we shall learn a little of the
language. Methought HE then set to work, and wrote volumes of bad
German, and he certainly brought me rapidly forward in the study of
it. Towards morning, my mind being wholly exhausted, I fell into a
heavy stupor, during which all those most dear to me haunted my
dreams. I thought that my father and mother were weeping over me; I
heard their lamentations, and suddenly I started out of my sleep
sobbing and affrighted. Sometimes, during short, disturbed
slumbers, I heard my mother's voice, as if consoling others, with
whom she came into my prison, and she addressed me in the most
affectionate language upon the duty of resignation, and then, when I
was rejoiced to see her courage, and that of others, suddenly she
appeared to burst into tears, and all wept. I can convey no idea of
the species of agony which I at these times felt.