"If she did, you pert miss," said Shum, looking mighty dignitified,
"I could correct her, and not you."

"You correct me, indeed!" said Miss Betsy, turning up her nose, if
possible, higher than before; "I should like to see you erect me!
Imperence!" and they all began laffin again.

By this time Mrs. S. had recovered from the effex of her exsize,
and she began to pour in HER wolly. Fust she called Mary names,
then Shum.

"Oh, why," screeched she, "why did I ever leave a genteel famly,
where I ad every ellygance and lucksry, to marry a creatur like
this? He is unfit to be called a man, he is unworthy to marry a
gentlewoman; and as for that hussy, I disown her. Thank heaven she
an't a Slamcoe; she is only fit to be a Shum!"

"That's true, mamma," said all the gals; for their mother had
taught them this pretty piece of manners, and they despised their
father heartily: indeed, I have always remarked that, in famlies
where the wife is internally talking about the merits of her
branch, the husband is invariably a spooney.

Well, when she was exosted again, down she fell on the sofy, at her
old trix--more screeching--more convulshuns: and she wouldn't stop,
this time, till Shum had got her half a pint of her old remedy,
from the "Blue Lion" over the way. She grew more easy as she
finished the gin; but Mary was sent out of the room, and told not
to come back agin all day.