capting drew up at the key, and our journey was down. But such a
bustle and clatter, such jabbering, such shrieking and swaring,
such wollies of oafs and axicrations as saluted us on landing, I
never knew! We were boarded, in the fust place, by custom-house
officers in cock-hats, who seased our luggitch, and called for our
passpots: then a crowd of inn-waiters came, tumbling and screaming
on deck--"Dis way, sare," cries one; "Hotel Meurice," says another;
"Hotel de Bang," screeches another chap--the tower of Babyle was
nothink to it. The fust thing that struck me on landing was a big
fellow with ear-rings, who very nigh knock me down, in wrenching
master's carpet-bag out of my hand, as I was carrying it to the
hotell. But we got to it safe at last; and, for the fust time in
my life, I slep in a foring country.

I shan't describe this town of Balong, which, as it has been
visited by not less (on an avaridg) than two milliums of English
since I fust saw it twenty years ago, is tolrabbly well known
already. It's a dingy melumcolly place, to my mind; the only thing
moving in the streets is the gutter which runs down 'em. As for
wooden shoes, I saw few of 'em; and for frogs, upon my honor I
never see a single Frenchman swallow one, which I had been led to
beleave was their reg'lar, though beastly, custom. One thing which
amazed me was the singlar name which they give to this town of
Balong. It's divided, as every boddy knows, into an upper town
(sitouate on a mounting, and surrounded by a wall, or bullyvar) and
a lower town, which is on the level of the sea. Well, will it be
believed that they call the upper town the Hot Veal, and the other
the Base Veal, which is on the contry, genrally good in France,
though the beaf, it must be confest, is excrabble.