view. It's an orchard full of beautiful apple trees. One of them has
got a big sign on it, marked: "Penal Code Tree-Poison." The other
trees have lots of apples on them for all. Yet the fools go to the
Penal Code Tree. Why? For the reason, I guess, that a cranky child
refuses to eat good food and chews up a box of matches with
relish. I never had any temptation to touch the Penal Code Tree.
The other apples are good enough for me, and 0 Lord! how many
of them there are in a big city!

Steffens made one good point in his book. He said he found that
Philadelphia, ruled almost entirely by Americans, was more
corrupt than New York, where the Irish do almost all the governin'.
I could have told him that before he did any investigatin' if he had
come to me. The Irish was born to rule, and they're the honestest
people in the world. Show me the Irishman who would steal a roof
off an almhouse! He don't exist. Of course, if an Irishman had the
political pull and the roof was much worn, he might get the city
authorities to put on a new one and get the contract for it himself,
and buy the old roof at a bargain-but that's honest graft. It's goin'
about the thing like a gentleman, and there's more money in it than
in tearin' down an old roof and cartin' it to the junkman's --more
money and no penal code.

One reason why the Irishman is more honest in politics than many
Sons of the Revolution is that he is grateful to the country and the
city that gave him protection and prosperity when he was driven by
oppression from the Emerald Isle. Say, that sentence is fine, ain't
it? I'm goin' to get some literary feller to work it over into poetry
for next St. Patrick's Day dinner.