very sensible how much nobler it is to place the reward of virtue in
the silent approbation of one's own breast than in the applause of
the world. Glory ought to be the consequence, not the motive, of
our actions; and although it happen not to attend the worthy deed,
yet it is by no means the less fair for having missed the applause it
deserved. But the world is apt to suspect that those who celebrate
their own beneficent acts performed them for no other motive than
to have the pleasure of extolling them. Thus, the splendour of an
action which would have been deemed illustrious if related by
another is totally extinguished when it becomes the subject of
one's own applause. Such is the disposition of mankind, if they
cannot blast the action, they will censure its display; and whether
you do what does not deserve particular notice, or set forth
yourself what does, either way you incur reproach. In my own case
there is a peculiar circumstance that weighs much with me: this
speech was delivered not before the people, but the Decurii;9 not
in the forum, but the senate; I am afraid therefore it will look
inconsistent that I, who, when I delivered it, seemed to avoid
popular applause, should now, by publishing this performance,
appear to court it: that I, who was so scrupulous as not to admit
even these persons to be present when I delivered this speech, who
were interested in my benefaction, lest it, might be suspected I was
actuated in this affair by any ambitious views, should now seem to
solicit admiration, by forwardly displaying it to such as have no
other concern in my munificence than the benefit of example.
These are the scruples which have occasioned my delay in giving
this piece to the public; but I submit them entirely to your
judgment, which I shall ever esteem as a sufficient sanction of my
conduct. Farewell.