Rinaldo do when Armida fixed upon him her twinkling eyes? Nay, to cut
all historical instances short, by going at once to the earliest, what
did Adam do when Eve tempted him? He yielded and became her slave; and
so I do heartily trust every honest man will yield until the end of the
world--he has no heart who will not. When I was in Germany, I say, I
began to learn to WALTZ. The reader from this will no doubt expect
that some new love-adventures befell me--nor will his gentle heart be
disappointed. Two deep and tremendous incidents occurred which shall be
notified on the present occasion.

The reader, perhaps, remembers the brief appearance of his Highness the
Duke of Kalbsbraten-Pumpernickel at B---- House, in the first part of
my Memoirs, at that unlucky period of my life when the Duke was led
to remark the odor about my clothes, which lost me the hand of Mary
M'Alister. I somehow found myself in his Highness's territories, of
which anybody may read a description in the Almanach de Gotha. His
Highness's father, as is well known, married Emilia Kunegunda Thomasina
Charleria Emanuela Louisa Georgina, Princess of Saxe-Pumpernickel, and a
cousin of his Highness the Duke. Thus the two principalities were united
under one happy sovereign in the person of Philibert Sigismund Emanuel
Maria, the reigning Duke, who has received from his country (on
account of the celebrated pump which he erected in the marketplace
of Kalbsbraten) the well-merited appellation of the Magnificent. The
allegory which the statues round about the pump represent, is of a very
mysterious and complicated sort. Minerva is observed leading up Ceres to
a river-god, who has his arms round the neck of Pomona; while Mars (in
a full-bottomed wig) is driven away by Peace, under whose mantle two
lovely children, representing the Duke's two provinces, repose. The
celebrated Speck is, as need scarcely be said, the author of this
piece; and of other magnificent edifices in the Residenz, such as the