when I was standing before my "oak," and chanced to puff a great bouffee
of Varinas into his face, he forgot his respect for my family altogether
(I was the second son, and my brother a sickly creature THEN,--he is now
sixteen stone in weight, and has a half-score of children); gave me a
severe lecture, to which I replied rather hotly, as was my wont. And
then came demand for an apology; refusal on my part; appeal to the dean;
convocation; and rustication of George Savage Fitz-Boodle.

My father had taken a second wife (of the noble house of Flintskinner),
and Lady Fitz-Boodle detested smoking, as a woman of her high principles
should. She had an entire mastery over the worthy old gentleman, and
thought I was a sort of demon of wickedness. The old man went to his
grave with some similar notion,--heaven help him! and left me but
the wretched twelve thousand pounds secured to me on my poor mother's
property.

In the army, my luck was much the same. I joined the --th Lancers,
Lieut.-Col. Lord Martingale, in the year 1817. I only did duty with the
regiment for three months. We were quartered at Cork, where I found the
Irish doodheen and tobacco the pleasantest smoking possible; and was
found by his lordship, one day upon stable duty, smoking the shortest,
dearest little dumpy clay-pipe in the world.

"Cornet Fitz-Boodle," said my lord in a towering passion, "from what
blackguard did you get that pipe?"

I omit the oaths which garnished invariably his lordship's conversation.

"I got it, my lord," said I, "from one Terence Mullins, a jingle-driver,
with a packet of his peculiar tobacco. You sometimes smoke Turkish, I