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Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc — Volume 1 by Mark Twain
page 34 of 279 (12%)
to indicate the comprehensive nature of that class of responsibilities
which render people responsible, and several exclaimed, admiringly, "He
is right!--he has put that whole tangled thing into a nutshell--it is
wonderful!" After a little pause to give the interest opportunity to
gather and grow, he went on: "Very good. Let us suppose the case of a
pair of tongs that falls upon a man's foot, causing a cruel hurt. Will
you claim that the tongs are punishable for that? The question is
answered; I see by your faces that you would call such a claim absurd.
Now, why is it absurd? It is absurd because, there being no reasoning
faculty--that is to say, no faculty of personal command--in a pair of
togs, personal responsibility for the acts of the tongs is wholly absent
from the tongs; and, therefore, responsibility being absent, punishment
cannot ensue. Am I right?" A hearty burst of applause was his answer.
"Now, then, we arrive at a man's stomach. Consider how exactly, how
marvelously, indeed, its situation corresponds to that of a pair of
tongs. Listen--and take careful note, I beg you. Can a man's stomach plan
a murder? No. Can it plan a theft? No. Can it plan an incendiary fire?
No. Now answer me--can a pair of tongs?" (There were admiring shouts of
"No!" and "The cases are just exact!" and "Don't he do it splendid!")
"Now, then, friends and neighbors, a stomach which cannot plan a crime
cannot be a principal in the commission of it--that is plain, as you see.
The matter is narrowed down by that much; we will narrow it further. Can
a stomach, of its own motion, assist at a crime? The answer is no,
because command is absent, the reasoning faculty is absent, volition is
absent--as in the case of the tongs. We perceive now, do we not, that the
stomach is totally irresponsible for crimes committed, either in whole or
in part, by it?" He got a rousing cheer for response. "Then what do we
arrive at as our verdict? Clearly this: that there is no such thing in
this world as a guilty stomach; that in the body of the veriest rascal
resides a pure and innocent stomach; that, whatever it's owner may do, it
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