them, and I was alone in the house. I needed consolation and I went to
the gaming-table, but I played without attention and lost a great deal. I
had already sold whatever I possessed of any value, and I owed money
everywhere. I could expect no assistance except from my three kind
friends, but shame prevented me from confessing my position to them. I
was in that disposition which leads easily to self-destruction, and I was
thinking of it as I was shaving myself before a toilet-glass, when the
servant brought to my room a woman who had a letter for me. The woman
came up to me, and, handing me the letter, she said,

"Are you the person to whom it is addressed?"

I recognized at once a seal which I had given to C---- C----; I thought I
would drop down dead. In order to recover my composure, I told the woman
to wait, and tried to shave myself, but my hand refused to perform its
office. I put the razor down, turned my back on the messenger, and
opening the letter I read the following lines,

"Before I can write all I have to say, I must be sure of my messenger. I
am boarding in a convent, and am very well treated, and I enjoy excellent
health in spite of the anxiety of my mind. The superior has been
instructed to forbid me all visitors and correspondence. I am, however,
already certain of being able to write to you, notwithstanding these very
strict orders. I entertain no doubt of your good faith, my beloved
husband, and I feel sure that you will never doubt a heart which is
wholly yours. Trust to me for the execution of whatever you may wish me
to do, for I am yours and only yours. Answer only a few words until we
are quite certain of our messenger.

"Muran, June 12th."