was likely to be some coolness in my feelings towards both my mistresses.
M---- M---- had become conscious of this after she had returned to the
convent, and wishing to screen herself from all responsibility she had
lost no time in writing to me that she would cause the projected supper
to be abandoned, in case I should disapprove of it, but she knew very
well that I would not accept her offer. Self-love is a stronger passion
even than jealousy; it does not allow a man who has some pretension to
wit to shew himself jealous, particularly towards a person who is not
tainted by that base passion, and has proved it.

The next day, having gone early to the casino, I found the ambassador
already there, and he welcomed me in the most friendly manner. He told me
that, if he had known me in Paris he would have introduced me at the
court, where I should certainly have made my fortune. Now, when I think
of that, I say to myself, "That might have been the case, but of what
good would it have been to me?" Perhaps I should have fallen a victim of
the Revolution, like so many others. M. de Bernis himself would have been
one of those victims if Fate had not allowed him to die in Rome in 1794.
He died there unhappy, although wealthy, unless his feelings had
undergone a complete change before his death, and I do not believe it.

I asked him whether he liked Venice, and he answered that he could not do
otherwise than like that city, in which he enjoyed excellent health, and
in which, with plenty of money, life could be enjoyed better than
anywhere else.

"But I do not expect," he added, "to be allowed to keep this embassy very
long. Be kind enough to let that remain between us. I do not wish to make
M---- M---- unhappy."