When I felt her in the bed I tried to clasp her in my arms, but found
that she had wrapped herself up in her long night-gown; her arms were
crossed, and her head buried in her chest. I entreated, scolded, cursed,
but all in vain; she let me go on, and answered not a word.

At first I thought it was a joke, but I soon found out my mistake; the
veil fell from my eyes and I saw myself in my true colours, the degraded
dupe of a vile prostitute.

Love easily becomes fury. I began to handle her roughly, but she resisted
and did not speak. I tore her night-gown to rags, but I could not tear it
entirely off her. My rage grew terrible, my hands became talons, and I
treated her with the utmost cruelty; but all for nothing. At last, with
my hand on her throat, I felt tempted to strangle her; and then I knew it
was time for me to go.

It was a dreadful night. I spoke to this monster of a woman in every
manner and tone-with gentleness, with argument, rage, remonstrance,
prayers, tears, and abuse, but she resisted me for three hours without
abandoning her painful position, in spite of the torments I made her
endure.

At three o'clock in the morning, feeling my mind and body in a state of
exhaustion, I got up and dressed myself by my sense of touch. I opened
the parlour door, and finding the street door locked I shook it till a
servant came and let me out. I went home and got into bed, but excited
nature refused me the sleep I needed so. I took a cup of chocolate, but
it would not stay on my stomach, and soon after a shivering fit warned me
that I was feverish. I continued to be ill till the next day, and then
the fever left me in a state of complete exhaustion.