got a tremendous notion of my nerve. It wasn't so much
that they told me so, but they told others about it.
They really thought I was game to the core--when in reality,
as I tell you, I was in the deadliest funk you ever
heard of"

"That's just it," said Plowden, "the part of you which was
engaged in making mental notes of the occasion thought you
were frightened; we will say that it was itself frightened.
But the other part of you, the part that was transacting
business, so to speak--that wasn't in the least alarmed.
I fancy all born commanders are built like that.
Did you ever see General Grant?"

Thorpe shook his head.

"What reminded me of him--there is an account in his
Memoirs of how he felt when he first was given a command,
at the beginning of the Civil War. He was looking about
for the enemy, who was known to be in the vicinity,
and the nearer he got to where this enemy probably was,
the more he got timid and unnerved, he says, until it seemed
as if cowardice were getting complete mastery of him.
And then suddenly it occurred to him that very likely
the enemy was just as afraid of him as he was of the enemy,
and that moment his bravery all returned to him.
He went in and gave the other man a terrible thrashing.
It doesn't apply to your case, particularly--but I fancy
that all really brave men have those inner convictions
of weakness, even while they are behaving like lions.