silence unpleasantness he could have ended with a word; and that was
the case of the late Corney Grain. He had been engaged to give his
entertainment at a country house. The lady was a nouvelle riche of
snobbish instincts. She left instructions that Corney Grain when he
arrived was to dine with the servants. The butler, who knew better,
apologised; but Corney was a man not easily disconcerted. He dined
well, and after dinner rose and addressed the assembled company.

"Well, now, my good friends," said Corney, "if we have all finished,
and if you are all agreeable, I shall be pleased to present to you my
little show."

The servants cheered. The piano was dispensed with. Corney
contrived to amuse his audience very well for half-an-hour without
it. At ten o'clock came down a message: Would Mr. Corney Grain come
up into the drawing-room. Corney went. The company in the drawing-
room were waiting, seated.

"We are ready, Mr. Grain," remarked the hostess.

"Ready for what?" demanded Corney.

"For your entertainment," answered the hostess.

"But I have given it already," explained Corney; "and my engagement
was for one performance only."

"Given it! Where? When?"

"An hour ago, downstairs."