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Idle Ideas in 1905 by Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka) Jerome
page 93 of 189 (49%)

Corruption appears to be so general throughout the whole of Russia
that all classes have come to accept it as part of the established
order of things. A friend gave me a little dog to bring away with
me. It was a valuable animal, and I wished to keep it with me. It
is strictly forbidden to take dogs into railway carriages. The list
of the pains and penalties for doing so frightened me considerably.

"Oh, that will be all right," my friend assured me; "have a few
roubles loose in your pocket."

I tipped the station master and I tipped the guard, and started
pleased with myself. But I had not anticipated what was in store for
me. The news that an Englishman with a dog in a basket and roubles
in his pocket was coming must have been telegraphed all down the
line. At almost every stopping-place some enormous official, wearing
generally a sword and a helmet, boarded the train. At first these
fellows terrified me. I took them for field-marshals at least.

Visions of Siberia crossed my mind. Anxious and trembling, I gave
the first one a gold piece. He shook me warmly by the hand--I
thought he was going to kiss me. If I had offered him my cheek I am
sure he would have done so. With the next one I felt less
apprehensive. For a couple of roubles he blessed me, so I gathered;
and, commending me to the care of the Almighty, departed. Before I
had reached the German frontier, I was giving away the equivalent of
English sixpences to men with the dress and carriage of major-
generals; and to see their faces brighten up and to receive their
heartfelt benediction was well worth the money.

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