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Our American Cousin by Tom Taylor
page 86 of 110 (78%)
Mrs M [Aside, crosses to Aug.] My love, you had better go.

Asa You crave affection, _you_ do. Now I've no fortune, but I'm
filling over with affections which I'm ready to pour out all over
you like apple sass, over roast pork.

Mrs M Mr. Trenchard, you will please recollect you are addressing
my daughter, and in my presence.

Asa Yes, I'm offering her my heart and hand just as she wants them
with nothing in 'em.

Mrs M Augusta, dear, to your room.

Aug Yes, ma, the nasty beast. [Exit R.]

Mrs M I am aware, Mr. Trenchard, you are not used to the manners
of good society, and that, alone, will excuse the impertinence
of which you have been guilty.

Asa Don't know the manners of good society, eh? Well,
I guess I know enough to turn you inside out, old gal--
you sockdologizing old man-trap. Wal, now, when I think
what I've thrown away in hard cash to-day I'm apt to call myself
some awful hard names, 400,000 dollars is a big pile for a man
to light his cigar with. If that gal had only given me herself
in exchange, it wouldn't have been a bad bargain. But I dare
no more ask that gal to be my wife, than I dare ask Queen Victoria
to dance a Cape Cod reel.

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