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Those Extraordinary Twins by Mark Twain
page 44 of 87 (50%)
"Will your honor permit this new witness to be sworn? He seems to
possess knowledge which can be of the utmost value just at this moment
--knowledge which would at once dispose of what every one must see is a
very difficult question in this case. Brother Allen, will you take the
stand?"

"Go on with your case!" said Allen, petulantly. The audience laughed,
and got a warning from the court.

"Now, Mr. Harkness," said Wilson, insinuatingly, "we shall have to insist
upon an answer to that question."

"I--er--well, of course, I do not absolutely know, but in my opinion--"

"Never mind your opinion, sir--answer the question."

"I--why, I can't answer it."

"That will do, Mr. Harkness. Stand down."

The audience tittered, and the discomfited witness retired in a state of
great embarrassment.

Mr. Wakeman took the stand and swore that he saw the twins kick the
plaintiff off the platform.

The defense took the witness.

"Mr. Wakeman, you have sworn that you saw these gentlemen kick the
plaintiff. Do I understand you to swear that you saw them both do it?"
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